Waiting Game
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I'm not alone, but I am lonely without you.
Allow me to be cheesy for a bit. I really feel down lately.
Yes, shopping has been a therapy. However, it is not enough. I am so close to giving birth already - currently at 31 weeks my OB said I might give birth in 6 weeks - the realization that the Husband wouldn't be there to see our 2nd baby is eating me up. I remember he used to tell me how happy he felt looking at our 1st baby in the nursery minutes after I gave birth. He told me how our boy Ozzy was the only baby fussy about the lights - all the other kids were behaving except him. He was laughing because Ozzy looked so cute trying to hide from the blinding yellow lights. Now, he won't be able to experience that. He will see the baby but only in pictures and that's not really the same. If he comes home on December that means the baby would 3 months already. He has missed 1/4 of the baby's life.
Sacrifice. Sacrifice. Sacrifice.
I always repeat that word every time I feel lost and unsure of our decision to have a long distance relationship. We both know it is for the best though. So nothing much we can do but wait until he comes home and we become whole again.
Yes, shopping has been a therapy. However, it is not enough. I am so close to giving birth already - currently at 31 weeks my OB said I might give birth in 6 weeks - the realization that the Husband wouldn't be there to see our 2nd baby is eating me up. I remember he used to tell me how happy he felt looking at our 1st baby in the nursery minutes after I gave birth. He told me how our boy Ozzy was the only baby fussy about the lights - all the other kids were behaving except him. He was laughing because Ozzy looked so cute trying to hide from the blinding yellow lights. Now, he won't be able to experience that. He will see the baby but only in pictures and that's not really the same. If he comes home on December that means the baby would 3 months already. He has missed 1/4 of the baby's life.Sacrifice. Sacrifice. Sacrifice.
I always repeat that word every time I feel lost and unsure of our decision to have a long distance relationship. We both know it is for the best though. So nothing much we can do but wait until he comes home and we become whole again.
1 comments:
I know exactly the feeling mommmy van..with gab nun, I felt so alone din. actually, kahit d2 s next ko. imagine supposedly i should be admitted s hosp dahil s bleeding. but since kami lng ng yaya d2, i decided n sa bahay lang magbedrest and magpaturok ng steroid shots outpatient na lng..minsan nga, naaawa ako sa sarili ko. pero di ito ang time n maging mahina. iniisip ko n lng, this too shall pass..
let's be strong n lng parati. ganyan tlga kailangan magsakripisyo pra sa future din ng family..buti nga baby mo, sa dec makikita nia na daddy nia..sakin, next yr n uwi si daddy, pag magwa-1yr old n si baby..1yr ang mamimiss nia, parang kay gab din noo.
anyway, hang in there. i'll pray for ur safe delivery.
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